Random Thoughts

It Is What It Is

“It is what it is.”

This is one of my most favorite statements to proclaim when things are not going my way, seem to be spiraling out of control or my presupposed plan has to be completely altered. It simply is what it is. You’ve just got to roll with the punches and go with the flow. I’ve never been a control freak but instead I am one who can typically see the bigger picture and better understands why something will or will not work. However, I do not have to have my own way and never demand it. I do like some sense of order in my life, even fullsizerender-3though you could never tell it by the chaos that is my house (but I have a theory about this which involves better organization, less stuff and having a second bedroom someday but I digress …), so if someone moves something on my desk at work it will be moved back to the correct spot. That is about the extent of the organization in my life … if I make set plans with friends then I stick to them but other than that whatever I plan for myself can change at a moment’s notice. I use a handwritten calendar to keep up with my life vs. a digital calendar because I like to write and because I remember things better that way. It has also allowed my creative side to really come forward. But again, I digress.

This past week has been one of the most stress-filled weeks of my life. It was glorious. (Please read that dripping in sarcasm.) Instead of turning to the Word of God for comfort and focus, I just plowed ahead and allowed the busyness of all that was before me  to overwhelm me. I did not manage my time well … shocker … and due to that fact, an event I hosted suffered. While to those on the outside it may have seemed quite lovely, I will always know in my heart what it could have been and what it wasn’t because of improper planning on my part.

This past weekend I have mourned my unrealized expectations as well as looked my pride and my false sense of perfection in the face. I have been humbled by all three. I struggle to ask for help when I truly need it. I am still like that stubborn toddler that insists she can put her right shoe on her left foot. I don’t want to need help. I want to be capable of doing this all by myself. And I am not. It is what it is. 

img_4295As I took a few minutes this morning to catch up on the reading I missed from last week I read these verses …

“Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing. You guard all that is mine.” Psalm 16:5

“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. … ‘Be still and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.’ The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us; the God of Israel is our fortress. Interlude Psalm 46:1, 10-11

fullsizerender-2“But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, ‘Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you, I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” Isaiah 43:1-2

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for going before me this past week ready to meet me where I needed it the most with your Word. Please forgive me for relying on my own feeble strength and not turning to you when I needed you the most. Thank you for your faithfulness and patience with me, your stubborn one. Thank you for being gracious enough to still redeem the time this weekend by allowing us to enter into your presence Friday night as we prayed over my sweet sister and precious niece. Please continue to go before us in the days ahead. Thank you for loving me just as I am but not allowing me to stay this way.

I love you.

In Jesus’s Name I Pray,

Amen

Moving on and letting go … 🙂

It is what it is.

I love you all!!

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Random Thoughts

Trust the Process

“Trust the process. God hasn’t brought you this far to suck the wind out of your sails.” These were the words I tapped out in a quick reply text to a friend a few weeks ago as she begged me for prayers over a situation that she was guaranteed wouldn’t be a problem.  I wasn’t just offering a flippant response but a sincere suggestion as a result of God’s faithfulness I had seen on display in her family’s life over the years that I had known her. While we do not a serve a name it and claim it God, He has been faithful to provide for their needs where He has guided their family to walk so I knew He would not fail them now. I knew she could trust the process. This whirlwind process that the Lord has asked her family to walk but with other believers at their side, praying with them and for them.

Trust the process. Those words have echoed in the darkest places of my soul the last few weeks especially when I am tempted to feel alone, insecure or scared. Trust the process.

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Trust the process. When I desperately desire a community with people my own age but I have been called to teach a preschool Sunday School class. Trust the process.

Trust the process. When the doctors are giving you a diagnosis you do not want to hear. Trust the process.

Trust the process. When it’s easy to see how He is working in other people’s lives yet you are blind to His work in your life. Trust the process.

Trust the process. When you are living a story you would have never written for yourself. Trust the process.

Trust the process. When He says “go” but everything within you says, “Now, but how? I’m not sure I’m ready. Are you sure, Lord?” Trust the process.

Trust the process. When I feel isolated by the standards and convictions the Lord has called me to in the online dating world and even in just the daily interactions with my neighbors. Trust the process.

Maybe just maybe trust the process is another way of saying have faith.

And when all else fails … cling to Deuteronomy 31: 8 “

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you, he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

Trust the process.

I love you all.

Single Life

Mirror, Mirror

As I am sitting here waiting to get my oil changed, I am thinking through the last blog I posted. Blogging can be a catch 22. You never know how people will read and receive what you write. No matter how many times you edit or rephrase something then someone can still take misunderstand what you meant. Thankfully, most people seem to get the gist of what I am trying to say.

However, I did want to briefly clarify something from my last post … how I see myself. It’s true I don’t look in the mirror and think I am beautiful but I do have moments where I think or feel that I am pretty. To be honest, I would rather have those moments of prettiness than walking around with a personal belief that I am beautiful. Maybe that seems wrong to you but I am more concerned about reflecting the beauty of Christ than living with the knowledge that I am beautiful all the time.

It has been a lifelong process to come to this level of contentment. When I was in junior high or high school, I did hate myself and the image that was reflected to me in the mirror. I share this not to be pitied or to receive encouragement but because I know there are young teenage woman battling with this same self image issue. Praise the Lord I never turned to self harm in order to deal with the pain. Instead I just bore it and kept it to myself which in many ways is just as destructive. I want more for today’s young women. I don’t want them walking through years of self-hatred. I want them to walk in freedom that can only be found in Christ. That’s why I share. That’s why I write.

And I share about the online dating scene because some people think that it’s the cure-all to dating. Ha. Singles ministries are not what they used to be if churches even have them anymore. I have shared with a few of my coworkers that I am in this 1% minority, even within the Church, now based off of the standards the Lord has given me. And trust me, I am not bragging about this … it’s just the reality I am living in. And I am ok with it. I know that I will not and cannot settle so that is not an option.

So to my precious friends who read my blog please know that I am ok! I am good. I am just being open and honest about this journey that I am on.

I love you all!