They say (whoever, they are) confession is good for the soul. Well here it goes …
I am not perfect. It’s ok to be appalled now and that shift you just felt in the atmosphere was the Earth coming to a halt at that revelation 🙂 I am and always have been the first to acknowledge my faults as well as to apologize and seek to make things right when I have offended someone. However, I am not someone who informs a person when they have offended me. I always assume I am being too sensitive … which is true 9 times out of 10.
My biggest problem is that I still react when I have been offended or hurt. I am not always slow to respond. I do not think through my actions and thus respond in emotion. I did that this past weekend with a guy I was talking to on Christian Mingle but claimed I was merely teasing. He was appropriately confused by my response and in the moment, I was too. He called me out for it and I examined what I had said, the spirit in which it had been said and knew I needed to apologize. I did and asked for forgiveness.
We had only been talking for a few days but it was fun having someone to share your daily life with them. We had both been willing to open up about things the Lord had been teaching us but I soon had the impression I was expected to be more vulnerable in my responses. That really doesn’t work for me. At. All.
I’m tired of being the overly vulnerable one. Now I don’t want a weepy man on my hands either. But there is a process of mutual sharing and I will not compromise on that.
So what’s my lesson from the first “healthy” interaction with online dating – the second time around –
Spiritual leadership does not demand but rather it compels you to share more.
Honesty is hard but absolutely necessary
I am not going to apologize for who I am and how I tease …however, I will be more thoughtful in my responses
And if forgiveness can’t be offered now in the beginning stages of getting to know someone then something permanent and God-honoring will never be able to be built because forgiveness of each other and our (many) faults will be part of the foundation of our marriage
Until next time!!!
I love you all. 🙂